Well, I am now an (unofficial) beautician, with an expertise in Men’s Military-style haircuts.
It all started about 3 years ago when the Coastie and I took a step back to review our finances. We like to do that from time-to-time, and I happen to believe that it is a good habit to get into. Plus, I have always prided myself on being “frugal,” (even though I know my family would choose a different adjective to describe my penny pinching ways). During our self-guided audit, we found that we were spending hundreds of dollars per year on haircuts. Nope, it wasn’t the total cost of haircuts for the family per year, but the total cost of haircuts for the Coastie and the Coastie alone. Knowing that we had no choice in the matter- the Coastie’s hair is actually part of his uniform and it needs to be within regulation- we were just going to have to accept his need for frequent haircuts as fact. I guess you could think of it like income taxes; you have to pay them, and if you don’t you won’t get away with your delinquency for long.
So, in order to save a few hundred dollars, we decided that I would start to cut his hair.
In the beginning, I found the process quite humorous, and so I giggled a lot. Call it a nervous reaction if you will, but, whatever the reason giggling with hair clippers in your hand is not smart. In fact, during one of my giggle fits, and while holding the clippers (at level 0- meaning really, really short), I accidentally brought the Coastie’s hairline (at the bottom of his neck) up about an inch. It wouldn’t have been so bad but I did so in the middle of the bottom. Basically, if you looked at him from behind, his hairline looked like an upside-down pitchfork.
So, you live and you learn, right? Wrong. I tried cutting his hair a few more times and each time we got into an argument. Mostly because he kept telling me he needed the back and the sides of his hair to be “faded.” “I’m not a magician!” I’d tell him. We finally decided that for the sake of our marriage he should probably just go back to getting his hair cut by actual professionals. He went back to salon cuts for about a year.
I honestly can’t recall why we decided to give the home haircutting another try but we did. The second time around has gone fairly well. I am learning as I go (scary, right?), but get better with each cut. I have a system now and usually remember it. The Coastie did ask me to watch a YouTube video or two to maybe “pick up some techniques in fading.” Damn that fading!
I still haven’t watched those videos.